Creative Writing Club
I was assigned by my principal to conduct creative writing workshops every Friday afternoon at school. The following is one of the activities:
Creative Writing
Workshop (II)
Read the following paragraph and try to make it a better one by adding some appropriate descriptions from (a) to (c). You may add your own descriptions too. Originality is better.
The sun had just set. The scenery was very beautiful. There were not many boats on the river. I wanted to row but my father forbade it. The boatman came to my aid. He said that he would make sure that I did not cause any harm to the boat or to myself. In the end, my father agreed. I sat in the place of the boatman at the stern and had the joy of rowing for almost ten minutes. Imagine my joy of rowing and my ability to keep it on course. My brother envied me.
a) Descriptions of the sunset
· The sun had just dipped below the horizon, staining the sky with red, orange and gold, creating a beautiful picture.
· In the twilight, the setting sun turned the sky into flames.
· The fingers of the setting sun left their beautiful imprints of red, orange, purple and gold in the sky.
· The sky glinted crimson in the light of the setting sun, its beauty making me half-drunk.
· The setting sun welcomed the night with a spectacular display of colours in the sky, the remnant of its short-lived glory.
b) Descriptions of the boatman
* Giving father a reassuring grin, the boatman told him that the attempt would cause no harm to both the boat or myself.
* The boatman, his face sunburnt and wrinkled, flashed his gap-tooth smile as he reassured dad that both the boat and I would be well under his guidance.
* The boatman, his silver hair peeking out from under his hat, gave father a thumbs up as he convinced him that under his close watch, my attempt would cause no problem to both myself and the boat.
* “Put your heart to rest, sir,” said the boatman, his eyes glinting with wisdom, a wisp of smoke swirling up from the cigarette at the corner of his mouth. “Let the boy experience how it is like being a helmsman. One day he may lead you and me, going down in history.” The gentle, convincing look of the oldman eased the firmness on father’s face into a smile, followed by a nod of approval that made my heart burst with joy.
c) Sounds of the paddle and water
* I faced a little trouble in the beginning. The boat bobbed and shook under my amateurish efforts. After sometime, I got used to my job and gained momentum. The boat made a steady progress as I switched sides with the paddle. The wind whipped my hair around my head and chopped the surrounding water into wavelets. Everyone was quiet, wearing a smile on their faces. The drip of water from my lifted paddle filled the air. In the distance, the broken glitter of the moon danced on the river’s surface, cheering me on.
* The water gurgled softly as the boat slipped over the river’s surface. It swirled into miniature whirlpools around the paddle dipping into the clear depths.
* The boat glided over the river under the laborious strokes of my paddle, alternately left nd right.
* The boat sliced across the river’s surface as I alternately lifted, lowered, and rowed the paddle.
* The moment I dipped the paddle into the river, the water gurgled and churned around it, resisting its thrust but soon giving in. When I lifted it up, the water splashed and to my delight, the boat glided forward, propelled by my maiden efforts.
Read the following paragraph and try to make it a better one by adding some appropriate descriptions from (a) to (c). You may add your own descriptions too. Originality is better.
The sun had just set. The scenery was very beautiful. There were not many boats on the river. I wanted to row but my father forbade it. The boatman came to my aid. He said that he would make sure that I did not cause any harm to the boat or to myself. In the end, my father agreed. I sat in the place of the boatman at the stern and had the joy of rowing for almost ten minutes. Imagine my joy of rowing and my ability to keep it on course. My brother envied me.
a) Descriptions of the sunset
· The sun had just dipped below the horizon, staining the sky with red, orange and gold, creating a beautiful picture.
· In the twilight, the setting sun turned the sky into flames.
· The fingers of the setting sun left their beautiful imprints of red, orange, purple and gold in the sky.
· The sky glinted crimson in the light of the setting sun, its beauty making me half-drunk.
· The setting sun welcomed the night with a spectacular display of colours in the sky, the remnant of its short-lived glory.
b) Descriptions of the boatman
* Giving father a reassuring grin, the boatman told him that the attempt would cause no harm to both the boat or myself.
* The boatman, his face sunburnt and wrinkled, flashed his gap-tooth smile as he reassured dad that both the boat and I would be well under his guidance.
* The boatman, his silver hair peeking out from under his hat, gave father a thumbs up as he convinced him that under his close watch, my attempt would cause no problem to both myself and the boat.
* “Put your heart to rest, sir,” said the boatman, his eyes glinting with wisdom, a wisp of smoke swirling up from the cigarette at the corner of his mouth. “Let the boy experience how it is like being a helmsman. One day he may lead you and me, going down in history.” The gentle, convincing look of the oldman eased the firmness on father’s face into a smile, followed by a nod of approval that made my heart burst with joy.
c) Sounds of the paddle and water
* I faced a little trouble in the beginning. The boat bobbed and shook under my amateurish efforts. After sometime, I got used to my job and gained momentum. The boat made a steady progress as I switched sides with the paddle. The wind whipped my hair around my head and chopped the surrounding water into wavelets. Everyone was quiet, wearing a smile on their faces. The drip of water from my lifted paddle filled the air. In the distance, the broken glitter of the moon danced on the river’s surface, cheering me on.
* The water gurgled softly as the boat slipped over the river’s surface. It swirled into miniature whirlpools around the paddle dipping into the clear depths.
* The boat glided over the river under the laborious strokes of my paddle, alternately left nd right.
* The boat sliced across the river’s surface as I alternately lifted, lowered, and rowed the paddle.
* The moment I dipped the paddle into the river, the water gurgled and churned around it, resisting its thrust but soon giving in. When I lifted it up, the water splashed and to my delight, the boat glided forward, propelled by my maiden efforts.
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