Mama's Matrimonial Decision
Mama decided to marry papa after the freak accident. On her way back from shopping one afternoon, her feet slipped and she fell down the steps of an overhead bridge. With a broken leg, she had to be hospitalized for several weeks.
The injury was a huge blow to Mama. Her flight ticket to London had to be forfeited and she could not pursue her dream as a dental nurse as planned.Several days before the accident, she had resigned as a cashier at Shell's Commissariat Retail shop,the first supermarket in Brunei. It had never occurred to her that her dream would be dashed. Getting back to work in the supermarket was also an unlikely possibility. In those days opportunity was scarce and you could not possibly regain it once you lost it. Mama was sad and distraught. She received lukewarm concern from her family who could not be bothered with her. They attributed her misfortune to her stupid carelessness and hardly visited her in hospital. At this moment of desolation, the only person who showed solicitous care to Mama was Papa. He had been on steady dates with Mama for two years and his truthfulness touched Mama tremendously. He visited her everyday, consoling her with comforting words and nourishing her with the soups he had simmered.
"Your Papa was soft-spoken,"recalls Mama, with a faraway look."He impressed me in our first meeting. I had never seen any man as gentle as he was."
Mama got to know Papa through friends in a New Year gathering. Papa was a Mirian working as an accounts clerk in Brunei. They hit it off immediately. Papa always took Mama to work and treated her and her siblings to meals at dim-sum restaurants. Mama had been an unhappy teenager before knowing Papa. As the eldest child in her family of twelve, she had to quit school when she was in Secondary Two in order to assist Grandpa in earning money. My bad tempered Grandma always flew at her with humiliating words and Grandpa never stood up for her despite her contribution to their family. Because of Grandma, all my uncles and aunties were conditioned to putting her in the wrong in whatever circumstances. Papa made her know the essence of love. Nobody had ever given her so much care like Papa did.
Mama gave Papa a definite yes when he asked for her hand in marriage. She was twenty-nine then and he twenty-four.
"We were all shocked when your Mum announced that she was going to marry your father,"says Fourth Aunt Peggy, sententiously.
"Why?"I ask, disliking her tone.
"For one thing,"says Aunt Peggy."Your father was too young."
"For the other?"I go on asking, turning up my nose in annoyance.
"Your father was not English-educated,"says Aunt Peggy."He did not speak a word of English."
"Did Grandpa and Grandma disapprove of the marriage?" I asked.
" Your Grandpa approved," said Aunt Peggy. "But your Grandpa objected."
Exasperated by what I have heard, I ask Mama how she dealt with her non-consenting mother.
"I told your mother firmly that I would marry no one but your father,"says Mama, emphatically.
"Was she angry?"
"Yes, she was," says Mama, with an air of insouciance."But she could not bend my will."
"What made you so determined, Mama?"I ask.
"Your father gave me strength,"explains Mama."His kindness and honesty were his greatest asset. I knew I would be happy with him."
"So both of you married without the approval of Grandma?"
"No, she eventually gave in,"Mama says, triumphantly.
And so, with a strong faith in one another,Mama and Papa built a family together. Their love yielded three children - Ah Hui, my eldest sister, me, the dark middle child called Tai Tai and Weng Weng, the youngest child.
"Every cloud has a silver lining,"Mama avers."That is how I see the accident as a blessing in disguise."
"Why, Mama?"I ask,in an incredulous tone.
"Had it not been for the accident,"says Mama."I would have been lonely without your father and you three."
"Mama....."My voice trails off as my emotions overwhelm me.
"I always thank God for giving me a family,"says Mama, proudly."God is the planner of our lives. We are living on this earth for a reason."
The injury was a huge blow to Mama. Her flight ticket to London had to be forfeited and she could not pursue her dream as a dental nurse as planned.Several days before the accident, she had resigned as a cashier at Shell's Commissariat Retail shop,the first supermarket in Brunei. It had never occurred to her that her dream would be dashed. Getting back to work in the supermarket was also an unlikely possibility. In those days opportunity was scarce and you could not possibly regain it once you lost it. Mama was sad and distraught. She received lukewarm concern from her family who could not be bothered with her. They attributed her misfortune to her stupid carelessness and hardly visited her in hospital. At this moment of desolation, the only person who showed solicitous care to Mama was Papa. He had been on steady dates with Mama for two years and his truthfulness touched Mama tremendously. He visited her everyday, consoling her with comforting words and nourishing her with the soups he had simmered.
"Your Papa was soft-spoken,"recalls Mama, with a faraway look."He impressed me in our first meeting. I had never seen any man as gentle as he was."
Mama got to know Papa through friends in a New Year gathering. Papa was a Mirian working as an accounts clerk in Brunei. They hit it off immediately. Papa always took Mama to work and treated her and her siblings to meals at dim-sum restaurants. Mama had been an unhappy teenager before knowing Papa. As the eldest child in her family of twelve, she had to quit school when she was in Secondary Two in order to assist Grandpa in earning money. My bad tempered Grandma always flew at her with humiliating words and Grandpa never stood up for her despite her contribution to their family. Because of Grandma, all my uncles and aunties were conditioned to putting her in the wrong in whatever circumstances. Papa made her know the essence of love. Nobody had ever given her so much care like Papa did.
Mama gave Papa a definite yes when he asked for her hand in marriage. She was twenty-nine then and he twenty-four.
"We were all shocked when your Mum announced that she was going to marry your father,"says Fourth Aunt Peggy, sententiously.
"Why?"I ask, disliking her tone.
"For one thing,"says Aunt Peggy."Your father was too young."
"For the other?"I go on asking, turning up my nose in annoyance.
"Your father was not English-educated,"says Aunt Peggy."He did not speak a word of English."
"Did Grandpa and Grandma disapprove of the marriage?" I asked.
" Your Grandpa approved," said Aunt Peggy. "But your Grandpa objected."
Exasperated by what I have heard, I ask Mama how she dealt with her non-consenting mother.
"I told your mother firmly that I would marry no one but your father,"says Mama, emphatically.
"Was she angry?"
"Yes, she was," says Mama, with an air of insouciance."But she could not bend my will."
"What made you so determined, Mama?"I ask.
"Your father gave me strength,"explains Mama."His kindness and honesty were his greatest asset. I knew I would be happy with him."
"So both of you married without the approval of Grandma?"
"No, she eventually gave in,"Mama says, triumphantly.
And so, with a strong faith in one another,Mama and Papa built a family together. Their love yielded three children - Ah Hui, my eldest sister, me, the dark middle child called Tai Tai and Weng Weng, the youngest child.
"Every cloud has a silver lining,"Mama avers."That is how I see the accident as a blessing in disguise."
"Why, Mama?"I ask,in an incredulous tone.
"Had it not been for the accident,"says Mama."I would have been lonely without your father and you three."
"Mama....."My voice trails off as my emotions overwhelm me.
"I always thank God for giving me a family,"says Mama, proudly."God is the planner of our lives. We are living on this earth for a reason."
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