My Twenty Years of Being An English Teacher

Being an English teacher for twenty years has taught me many things.

In the first five years of my teaching career, I always found myself groping in the dark, experimenting with different teaching approaches and making countless stumbles.  A well-planned  lesson could go wrong with a silly grammatical slip, a torn teaching aid, a noisy, attention-seeking student, or an unexpected question posed by an intelligent student who wanted to see you babble helplessly.  As a new teacher, I was given the opportunity to attend many courses. At the time they were mostly held at grand hotels and I had the privilege to meet many outstanding teachers such as Susan Soh, Arthur Wee, Patricia Wong, Robinette Tiong and Paul Chiam. Each time I returned from a course, I was raring to implement what I had learnt at school. However, the attempt frequently met with failure on account of my poor class control and my weak English.

To avoid making errors like a fool, I held fast to textbooks for the security of providing me with grammatically correct instructions and impossible-to-go-wrong lessons.  At my wit's end, commercially published reference books came to the rescue.  Their answer keys became my Bible, equipping me with the know-hows on grading tests and checking exercise books. Despite all that, I still made more than my fair share of errors.  Every now and then a furious parent would storm into the principal's room, complaining about my bad command of the English language and demanding a better replacement. The principal, all apologies and smiles, defended me at all costs, assuring him or her that I would show improvement as time progressed. Of course, it was painful to come to terms with my weaknesses through the chastisement of the principal. As shame-stricken as I was, I never lost hope but vowed to rally my shredded confidence each time I fell.  To improve my English I read avidly.  It is not hyperbole at all to say that I clung to books for dear life. 

The next two years saw me being more capable as an English teacher. Regular reading had given me more confidence in devising my own lessons.  I made less errors in teaching and was soon promoted as the head of the Junior Language Department. Things went well for a while until a few colleagues accused me of not teaching 'Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde' in my lessons.  I was eventually stripped of my position and was reassigned to teach all the bottom classes at school. 

Aggrieved,  I found myself constantly venting my anger on my students, who were not only weak in English, but also inattentive and rebellious beyond cure. I gradually spiraled into depression, constantly shouting in my lessons and hitting the students when consumed by blind rage. One day, a student slapped me in the face and I responded in kind to him. His parents demanded that I be terminated from service and my principal managed to appease them by getting me apologize to them. After the incident, I went through the motions of teaching like a walking dead. My lessons were lacklustre, uninspiring and error-filled to boot.

From 2008 to 2009, my career as an English teacher had taken a turn for the worse. Depression had affected my speech, and made me unable to perform teaching like the other teachers.  Many a time I just sat through my lessons without doing anything.  My lessons were hopeless to say the least.

Year 2010 was the time I overcame depression, and the next five years were a belated, but worth-it formative period of my personal development.  Realizing that I had been under-performing for many years, I was trying to be as creative as possible in my teaching.  During holidays, I attended creative writing workshops, hoping to use what I had learned to supplement my teaching skills. I read more fervently than usual and it enabled me to gain a better insight into the English Language. Despite my determination in showing my best, my naysayers were still hellbent in destroying me.  Sometime in June last year, because of their accusations, a teacher took my place as a Form Four English teacher.  In the past, I would have felt down but a small voice in me told me to defy the odds by fighting to prove that I could ace teaching like any outstanding teacher out there.

From July to November 2015, I became the coachee of Mdm. Sawaran Kaur, a specialist coach under the School Improvement Programme. She shared many innovative teaching methods with me and under her meticulous guidance, my teaching was able to reach the criteria set by the ministry of education. Her suggestions had given a breath of life to my teaching and I was glad to have been under the programme for four months.  The experience had instilled in me more sense of responsibility in regard to teaching. 

This year, no matter what happens, I should keep teaching as my core business. The students are my main clientele and I should strive for the best to meet their needs, psychologically or academically. I have begun to see some potential in them and it is my responsibility to make every learning opportunity available to them.  To all my naysayers, continue raining your poison on me, I will keep doing my utmost to prove you wrong.