Keep Your Chin Up, Teacher

Lo stood in the administration office, hemming and hawing, scared of the possibility of making himself the butt of jokes during roll call. Although he was a teacher, he had no confidence when it came to speaking in front of a large group, and he was considering getting someone to replace him. But would anyone be willing to do it? Deep down, he knew that he couldn’t possibly run away from the job. Sooner or later, he had to face it.

As the commotion made by the students pounded the office from different directions, Lo stiffened in trepidation and bit his lower lip. The public address system was not working, so Mr Zulkifli, the senior assistant, handed him a portable speaker box, which was as heavy as his heart. Lo dragged himself through the door and began walking up onto the stage. He could feel his legs shaking.

Panic came over him as he looked at the sea of faces in the assembly hall. The students, carrying their bags either on their back or on one shoulder, were eager to go home. Why was it a must to address the students in Malay? Lo thought. Weak in Malay, he preferred to speak in English, the language he had been teaching for many years. The moment he said “Good afternoon” in the dreaded tongue, he realised that his voice had not projected as it should have. Some of the students broke into laughter while pointing to the portable speaker box behind him. Frowning, Lo hadn’t the foggiest idea what he should do to make his voice heard. During the lull that ensued as he attempted to figure this out, the students became increasingly noisy.

“Lawrence,” a female teacher said as she walked up to a boy. “Help Mr Lo to adjust the position of the speaker box.”

The boy sprung up onto the stage and turned the amplifier of the speaker box in the direction of the students. By then, Lo had realised that he had accidentally positioned that part towards the administration office behind him. No wonder the students had been unable to hear his voice. Feeling frustrated with himself, he sighed.

Rasping an apology, Lo cleared his throat and addressed the students once more, but his nerves quickly got the best of him, causing him to make grammatical errors. The students laughed at every slip of his, and he felt as if all of his blood had pooled in his face. Clenching his fist, Lo knew that he had to gather his courage and press on until the whole session was over.

With great effort, Lo gulped down his anger and invited a colleague on stage to make an announcement. While she was speaking, he inhaled deeply, trying desperately to calm himself. In his mind, he knew that it was a natural reaction for students to laugh at any mistakes made by a teacher. Allowing himself to feel intimidated was, by all means, unbecoming of a trained teacher.

“Yes,” a voice rang in his head. “You are a qualified teacher. You graduated from university just like the others, and you’re someone who ought to lead by example.” Jolted, Lo turned the words over in his mind and realised that he should stop being a cowering wretch. Instead of concentrating on his fears, why didn’t he do something positive to rectify the situation? Although the students had responded to his errors with jeers, he, a well-trained teacher, should show them that he had an unbreakable, magnanimous spirit. He would accomplish this by motivating them with uplifting words. With this thought, his tremulous nerves gradually began to calm.

When it was his turn to speak again, Lo eked out a smile and, in a surprisingly calm voice, wished the students a good weekend. He reminded them of the need to go forward in life and take advantage of every single opportunity to learn.

“Every day is a new beginning. If you achieve success, keep working hard the next day so that you can better your old self. For those who experience failure, remember that you too have the same opportunity to redeem yourself .”

The students, who had been rowdy and uproarious since the very moment they had filed into the assembly hall, had suddenly fallen quiet. Feeling increasingly confident, Lo asked the students to give themselves a pat on the back for having been able to survive another week of school. Concluding his speech, he stated, “Every one of you is a winner in your own right.” The students then clapped and cheered. Teo thanked them for their attention and his session was finally over. The students left school according to their classes.

As the last row of students flowed through the gate, Lo hurried into the office, collected his backpack, and strapped it on. After clocking out, he joined the few straggling students as they exited the gate, and with a new spring in his step, he strode to the usual spot where he awaited his bus home. He was experiencing a powerful surge of cathartic joy, which was bringing back the confidence he had lost after making an ignominious exit on the last day at his former workplace.

On his way home as he sat on the bus, Lo could not help smiling as he recalled what had happened. His short bout of nerves during roll call had taught him a great deal about how to be a respectable teacher.