A Repost: Mother's Matrimonial Decision

Mama decided to marry Papa after a freak accident. On her way back from the market one afternoon, her feet slipped, and she fell down the steps of an overhead bridge. She sustained a broken leg and had to be hospitalized for several weeks.

The injury was a huge blow to Mama. Her flight to London had to be forfeited, and she could not pursue her dream to become a dental nurse. Several days before the accident, she had resigned as a cashier at a Shell supermarket. It had never occurred to her that her dreams would have been dashed. She could never return to work or earn the same amount of money to repurchase the ticket. Mama was sad and distraught. She received lukewarm concern from her family, who chalked up her misfortune to her stupidity and carelessness. They hardly visited her in hospital. In Mama’s moments of desolation, the only person who showed her sincere care was Papa. He had been on steady dates with Mama for two years, and his genuineness touched her deeply. He visited her every day, consoling her with comforting words and nourishing her with his home-cooked meals.

            “Your papa was soft-spoken,” recalls Mama with a smile. “He impressed me when we met for the first time. I had never seen any man as gentle and humble as he was.”

            Mama met Papa through friends at a New Year gathering. Papa was a Mirian working as an accounts clerk in Brunei. Papa was attracted to Mama immediately. He always took her to work and treated her to meals at dim sum restaurants. Mama had been an unhappy girl before meeting Papa. As the eldest child in her family of twelve, she had to quit school when she was in Secondary Two in order to make ends meet for her family. Despite her contribution, my bad-tempered grandmother always reprimanded her using harsh words, and my grandpa never stood up for her. A determined person, Mama attended night school for several years and graduated with a satisfactory intermediate certificate. She never thought that misfortune would befall her and that her family would be unsympathetic towards her plight. Papa made her understand the essence of love. Until she met him, nobody had ever given her so much attention.

Mama gave Papa a definite yes when he asked for her hand in marriage. She was twenty-nine, and he was twenty-four.

            “We were all shocked when your mum announced that she was going to marry your father,” says Aunt Peggy.
            “Why?” I ask.
            “For one thing,” says Aunt Peggy, “your father was too young.”
            “And for the other?” I ask, my brows knitted in annoyance.
            “Your father did not have a well-paid job,” says Aunt Peggy.

“Did Grandpa and Grandma disapprove of their marriage?” I ask.

            “Your grandpa approved,” says Aunt Peggy. “But your grandma objected.”

Exasperated by what I hear, I ask Mama how she dealt with her mother’s disapproval.

            “I told your grandmother firmly that I would marry no one but your father,” says Mama emphatically.
            “Was she angry?”
            “Yes, she was,” says Mama. “But she could not bend my will.”
            “What made you so determined, Mama?” I ask.

“Your father gave me strength,” explains Mama. “His kindness and honesty were his greatest assets. I knew I would be happy with him.”

            “So you married without Grandma’s consent?”

“No, she eventually gave in,” Mama says triumphantly.

            And so, with strong faith in each other, Mama and Papa built a family together. Their love yielded three children—Ah Hui, my eldest sister; me, the dark middle child called Tai Tai; and Weng Weng, the youngest.

 “Every cloud has a silver lining,” Mama avers. “That is how I see the accident—a blessing in disguise.”

“Why, Mama?” I ask in an incredulous tone.

“Had it not been for the accident,” says Mama, “I would have been leading a lonely life without your father and you three.”

“Mama...” My voice trails off as my emotions overwhelm me.

            “I always thank God for giving me a family,” says Mama proudly. “God is the planner of our lives. We are living on this earth for a reason.”