Unpaid Leave



I am presently on one month’s unpaid leave. This decision was made after two months of careful consideration. I have become burnt out by job-related stress. I have come to dread facing the problems at my school. I have had to retreat to a quiet, undisturbed corner for self-protection.

             Juvenile delinquency is on the rise at my school. The triadic influence has infiltrated every corner, and scolding any ‘protected’ students means dealing with a plague. For safety reasons, most teachers have chosen to ignore them. I, contrastingly, have boldly confronted them. After all, a teacher’s duty is to discourage unwanted behaviour—not evade it. However, my actions backfired, and I blame it on my impulsiveness. Several months ago, in my desperation to establish control in a chaotic lesson, I smacked two gangster students and ended up getting myself into hot water. Since no teacher is allowed to physically punish students, I had to make an open apology to appease the troublemakers. The scene remains vivid in every one’s mind, and I have been the target of jeers ever since.


For the time being, there is no safe place for me at school. I am insulted everywhere I go. Last Wednesday, I scolded a student for being disrespectful to me, but he told the school senior assistant that I spanked him! My explanation was met with cold, doubtful stares. Another boy even told a colleague that I had never done any proper teaching. Not long ago, I also received a letter from an anonymous person who described me as a teacher who only knew how to sleep and go through the motions!
              Do you agree that everyone is bent on alienating me at school? I don’t like my current state of the mind—too filled with paranoia and vehement hate. I have to keep licking my wounds in silence. I am in a world of my own with no one to stand up for me. I can’t even garner enough confidence to teach. Many a time, I have made excuses not to enter my classes. I think I must have developed a phobia for juvenile delinquents. I have begun taking antidepressants too; without them, I’d have problems sleeping. To solve my problems, I have finally decided to take a long break. Believe me, I need it more than anything else to keep myself sane. I may lose all sense of reasoning if I keep subjecting myself to the same stress.

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